The Bro Code - Part 2


Article 31: When on the prowl, a Bro hits on the hottest chick first because you just never know

Article 32: A Bro doesnt allow another Bro to get married until hes at least thirty


Article 33 When in a public restroom, a Bro (1) stares straight ahead when using the urinal; (2) makes the obligatory comment, "What is this, a chicks' restroom?" if there are more than two dudes waiting to pee; and (3) attempts to shoot his used paper towel into the trash can like a basketball...rebounding is optional.


Article 34: Bros cannot make eye-contact during a Devil's Threeway.


Article 35: A Bro never rents a chick flick


Article 36 DD: When questioned in the company of women, a Bro always decries fake breasts.


Article 37: A Bro is under no obligation to open a door for anyone. If women insist on having their own professional basketball league, then they can open their own doors. Honestly they're not that heavy


Article 38: Even in a fight to the death a Bro never punches another Bro in the groin. When a Bro gets a chicks number, he waits at least ninety-six hours before calling her.


Article 40: Should a Bro become stricken with engagement, his Bros shall stage an intervention and attempt to heal him. This is more commonly known as "a bachelor party."


Article 41: A Bro never cries (Exceptions- Watching Field of Dreams, ET or a sports legend right (only first time he retires))


Article 42: Upon greeting another Bro, a Bro may engage in a high five, fist bump, or a Bro hug, but never a full embrace.


Article 43: A Bro loves his country, unless that country isn't America.


Article 44: A Bro never applies sunscreen to another Bro


Article 45: A Bro never wears jeans to a strip club


Article 46: If a Bro is seated next to some dude who's stuck in the middle seat on an airplane, he shall yield him all of their shared armrest, unlesss the dude has (a) teken his shoes off, (b) is snoring, (c) makes the Bro get up more than once to use the lavatory, or (d) purchased headphones after they announced the in-flight movie is 27 Dresses. See Article 35.


Article 47: A Bro never wears pink. Not even in Europe


Article 48: A Bro never publicly reveals how many chicks he's banged.


Article 49: When asked, "Do you need some help?" a Bro shall automatically respond, "I gotit," whether or not he's actually got it.


Article 50: If a Bro should accidentally strike another Bro's undercarriage with his arm while walking, both Bros silently agree to continue on as if it never happened.


Article 51: A Bro checks out another Bro's blind date and reports back with a thumbs-up or thumbs-down


Article 52: A Bro is not required to remember another Bros birthday, though a phone call every not and again probably wouldn't kill him


Article 53: Even in a drought, a Bro flushes twice


Article 54: A Bro is required to go out with his Bros on St. Paddy's Day and other official Bro hilidays, including Halloween, New Year's Eve, and Desperation Day (February 13th)


Article 55: Even inan emergency that requires a tourniquet, a Bro never borrows from or lends clothes to another Bro.


Article 56: A Bro is required to alert another Bro if the Bro/chick Ration at a party falls below 1:1. However, to avoid Broflation, a Bro is only allowed to alert one Bro. Further, a Bro may not speculate on the anticipated Bro/Chick Ratio of a party or venue without first disclosing the present-time observed ratio.


Article 57: A Bro never reveals the score of a sporting event to another Bro unless that Bro has thrice confirmed he wants to hear it.


Article 58: A Bro doesn't grow a mustache (Exception Tom Selleck)


Article 59: A Bro must always post bail for another Bro, unless it's out of state or, like, crazy expensive (Crazy expensive bail >(years you've been bros) x $100)


Article 60: A Bro shall honor they father and mother, for they were once Bro and chick. However, a Bro never thinks of them in that capacity.



TO BE CONTINUED...

2 Opiniões:

Anónimo disse...

este blogue é uma grandessisima merda. nao vale um caralho. mentira, e um blog excelente, parabens senhor pedro monte

Pedro Monte disse...

Epá obrigado ó anónimo!